Monday, 24 November 2008
Sunday, 23 November 2008
Chilling today Sundays are like that, running around like a nutter all week and knowing its going to be the same next week. But hey only this week in work and then off for 1 whole week .... yippeee .... but not so yippee I have to study!!!
My 'friend' shall we call him came out of hospital yesterday. You'll probably hear me alot talking about my 'friend' its the type of friend that know one knows you have and you shouldn't have .... the fact that he's married and is also my boss. Yes my boss .... yes it will all probably end in tears but its been going on since April, for him its being going on for years, when we first met all those many moons ago, but as usual I was oblivious to the fact that he liked me in that way.
Your now thinking no no no leave it where it is, I know I should at times but its now getting to the stage where I cant. We have a great time together, and we have so far managed to handle the work thing. You wouldnt know we were any different to be honest, we have always spent work time together and nothing has changed in that respect. But OMG if people found out then I dont think I could actually handle the consequences of what everyone around me would say. Friends would certainly become abit sparce im sure, but I maybe wrong I dont know, my reputation in work would also go down the pan, I just couldnt bare to think to be honest. It just wouldnt be good for either of us. We talk about this all the time, we say right ok lets leave it and see what happens but we always end up being back to where we are. Attraction is not always a good thing is it?
He cares about me, he tells me all the time that he loves me, but I am not in the same place as him which he does know. I care a great deal for him but im not ready to go to the place of 'in love' What is love anyway, I have had so many disappointments, which im sure I will tell you about, I should be in 'take a break' magazine with the stories that I can tell. They are a joke and I laugh now but at the time is I wasnt not laughing I was completely broken. Even now I still carry it around with me ..... was it me that did the wrong thing, when I know it wasnt me at all, I was just me, just being me but it just wasnt enough. But life moves on and now im in this situation that no one knows about.
My 'friend' shall we call him came out of hospital yesterday. You'll probably hear me alot talking about my 'friend' its the type of friend that know one knows you have and you shouldn't have .... the fact that he's married and is also my boss. Yes my boss .... yes it will all probably end in tears but its been going on since April, for him its being going on for years, when we first met all those many moons ago, but as usual I was oblivious to the fact that he liked me in that way.
Your now thinking no no no leave it where it is, I know I should at times but its now getting to the stage where I cant. We have a great time together, and we have so far managed to handle the work thing. You wouldnt know we were any different to be honest, we have always spent work time together and nothing has changed in that respect. But OMG if people found out then I dont think I could actually handle the consequences of what everyone around me would say. Friends would certainly become abit sparce im sure, but I maybe wrong I dont know, my reputation in work would also go down the pan, I just couldnt bare to think to be honest. It just wouldnt be good for either of us. We talk about this all the time, we say right ok lets leave it and see what happens but we always end up being back to where we are. Attraction is not always a good thing is it?
He cares about me, he tells me all the time that he loves me, but I am not in the same place as him which he does know. I care a great deal for him but im not ready to go to the place of 'in love' What is love anyway, I have had so many disappointments, which im sure I will tell you about, I should be in 'take a break' magazine with the stories that I can tell. They are a joke and I laugh now but at the time is I wasnt not laughing I was completely broken. Even now I still carry it around with me ..... was it me that did the wrong thing, when I know it wasnt me at all, I was just me, just being me but it just wasnt enough. But life moves on and now im in this situation that no one knows about.
Saturday, 22 November 2008
First Timer ....
So today I decided to start my 'blog' as they say now. No more putting pen to paper it now all about putting fingers to a keyboard. I knew my typing skills would come into go use evenually!
I have sat and thought and thought about what I would write about, should I be funny and write about the mad things that 'always' happen to me, or should I just type away on this keyboard of mine and see what happens. You may find me interesting you may not, but its all about expression, I dont actually know who is or will be going to read this if anyone actually does. But hey, we may find something in common and you may feel that you can comment, please do by all means.
Life is all about living as you only have the once chance and at times you have to take a chance to see where is takes you. And believe me at this moment I'm taking some chances and im being lucky in getting away with it. How long will this luck last I dont know but oh my it could then change a lot of things .....
I have sat and thought and thought about what I would write about, should I be funny and write about the mad things that 'always' happen to me, or should I just type away on this keyboard of mine and see what happens. You may find me interesting you may not, but its all about expression, I dont actually know who is or will be going to read this if anyone actually does. But hey, we may find something in common and you may feel that you can comment, please do by all means.
Life is all about living as you only have the once chance and at times you have to take a chance to see where is takes you. And believe me at this moment I'm taking some chances and im being lucky in getting away with it. How long will this luck last I dont know but oh my it could then change a lot of things .....
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